it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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