i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
