I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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