She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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