I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
