i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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