we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
