just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
