I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
