my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
