She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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