You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
only if we run a train.
done.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
