Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
