I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
