Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
