As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
