How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
