I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
