how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
