OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
