One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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