Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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