Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
