the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
