Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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