You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
