Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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