i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
