She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
