Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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