If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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