Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
