I heard we made out
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
