Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
