Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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