Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize