I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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