I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
