Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
