You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You pole danced in your parka.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
