3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
