i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
