You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
