in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
