That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
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