help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
