Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
a search helicopter?!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
