of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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