I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
