I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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