This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
